He’s BAAAAAaaaaaaack!

So I have to wonder what is going on in good ol’ JM’s head to suddenly, almost a year after the whole bug out on the T~Meister, why would he suddenly send me an IM on my Yahoo! Messenger at 3:45 AM this morning?! I find it disturbing, almost invasive into my mindset of security in believing that my Zen is pretty darn stable. Zen should just be the go with the flow and all that happy jazz. Now, when I go to bed tonight, I will be all paranoid about the phone ringing with Jason on the other end.

Oh, it gets better. Adam joked about football season starting up the other day. I kinda laughed. I figured it was meant to be funny. Now, I see the Steelers played Miami last night. Dun-Dun-DUN! I get an IM. Nice. I mean it wasn’t a phone call. That’s an improvement. Now I wonder if the phone calls will start up if the Colts play instead. Who knows? I’m not really all that eager to find out at the moment.

I can’t say that I’m not worried about the boy. I can’t say man, because he has to be drunk to call me or even speak to me. The remorsefulness should last only so long before you get over it. Did JM hurt me? Hell yes! Am I happy now? Hell yes! I care very deeply for Adam, he’s a wonderful man. I love the Adam. Adam is good. I don’t even want to hurt him either. I don’t ever want to inflict upon him or anyone else what it felt like to have the emotional roller coaster ride handed to me like JM did. It’s just not cool and no one deserves that.

Only time will tell what’s gonna happen with the boy. I hope he gets his shit together and seeks help soon. I worry about Kaitlin being around him when he’s drunk. He swears to me that he doesn’t drink around her, but I have to wonder. Then again, there’s another part of me that’s less sympathetic or would it be empathetic? Either one boils down to me wanting to put my foot up his ass and telling him to get it together, because I don’t need static in my life. I am quite content with life and life with Adam. I couldn’t ask for a better guy really.

Tammolly~ Just trying not to flip today.

...So if I die today I'll be the happy phantom
And I'll go wearin' my naughties like a jewel...
I'm still an angel to a girl who hates to sin